How To Survive A Shark Attack

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Because we're showing Jaws at the Plaza on Thursday (and again on Sunday), it's officially Shark Week here at the Atlanta Film Festival. In the unlikely event that you're attacked by a shark at one of those screenings, we thought it best to collect some of the best (and worst) advice we could find on the internet about the subject. 

Starting things off is this 1964 U.S. Air Force training video entitled "Shark Defense," in which our airmen are encouraged to remember that a shark's "front end is practically all mouth." Also recommended: tearing up paper to scatter about one's life raft, and screaming loudly into the water. Hmmm.... maybe not.

More practical advice comes to us in the form of Howcast's "How to Survive a Shark Attack," which reassures you that it's perfectly okay to swim out and rescue someone being attacked by a shark.  "Sharks are less likely to attack a rescuer and more likely to continue attacking the original victim."

The ultimate guide to surviving a Jaws-like scenario, however, is this video documentary of the dearly-departed Jaws ride at Universal Studios Orlando. The ride was decommissioned in 2012 to make way for rides featuring Harry Potter. (Sorry, we have no clue how to defend against prepubescent teenagers.) Key factors to survival in this scenario include hiding behind a perky tour guide with a large shotgun, and taking recreational tours near incredibly dangerous beaches. That way the shark is more likely to accidentally kill himself before he has a chance to eat you. 

Finally, we'd like to make you aware of a new shark threat, that of the "Sharknado." The sharknado involves sharks that are sucked into the vortex of a waterspout and then deposited on (occasionally flooded) land, where they devour everything in sight. To survive a sharknado, pack the following: firearms, chainsaws, and idiot boyfriends you may feed to the sharks while you make your escape. 

Ready for even more amazing shark action? Catch Jaws on the big screen Thursday night and Sunday afternoon at the Plaza, part of our Fall Focus on Directors.